New Every Morning

Last year was a wash, really. Only I didn’t become conscious of  it until one week into 2011.

Seriously.

I almost coasted through the holiday season illness free. [Unlike last year when I spent over two months with one infection or another.] But then it happened. The day after Christmas I felt it – a  tightness in my chest, an inability to breathe deeply; within days I was antibiotics for walking pneumonia.  And we were out of town. Ugh.

As it goes, the {bed}rest required for recovery gave me ample time to read, ponder and pray… Only that light bulb didn’t go off in my head until I was almost well again. Right about the same time I had an epiphany about my year.  I blew it.

True Story.

When the light bulb turned on in my head as the epiphany was still ping-ponging back and forth between my ears, I picked up my devotional that evening and it started with Lamentations 3:19-23.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; how great is Your faithfulness.

The original translation I read is from “The Message”. It reads, “I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope”. The words hit me. I read them and reread them; and the impact of the words rushed over me like an open floodgate. Hitting bottom. Not like an alcoholic or drug addict would; but rather, over the previous months I had slowly, quietly shut down and/or sabotaged a parts of my life over and over again.  Ouch.

I knew 2010 would be a challenging year yet I started out in a sprint forward with hope and perseverance. But I soon lost speed with disappoint, bad news, loss of friends & loved ones and… FEAR. I took my eyes off the prize, I disqualified myself from the race, so to speak, and I didn’t even consciously realize I was doing it. It is very humbling to wake up and count the {really stupid choices and} mistakes you make (mistakes so easily avoided) and to admit that somewhere along the way you walked right off the path and kept on trudging along – the hard way. I’m not going to expound on the details of my journey through 2010 or the events that propelled me forward, some were posted here through the pages; but this year I believe I had more blog drafts than I had published posts. Another clue to a year thrown out of alignment.

It was no mistake you know…  getting sick with the one illness that makes me STOP.

Literally – Stop.

Obviously, that’s what I needed to see I wasn’t on the path I wanted to be. To see that I wasn’t fully trusting my Father in Heaven enough. To see that I was living through the fear of “what could or couldn’t  be” rather then living in the faith of  “what IS”.

My affliction and my wandering…yet the passage continues –

Because of the LORD’s great love
we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning.
 

NEW Every Morning.

Not once a year. But – Every. Morning.
No regrets.


Here's to a new morning. 

A Non-Traditional Newsletter…

For years I have sent out Christmas cards that often include some type of newsletter about our family - whether it be a tongue-in-cheek version set to the 12 Days of Christmas, Dr. Seuss or Barney; or a more straight forward, albeit short, version – I would put our year into words… counting the blessings.

But like so many, we have been affected by the recession and tanking economy and I often found myself looking at the ‘glass half empty’ when it came to writing  traditional Christmas newsletter.

Then as this year’s Christmas postcards slid from my fingers into the mailbox, I realized I was thinking of our blessings – about everything that went right. I hadn’t written about our year because I think I was still, personally, floating in murky water. I admit, I didn’t get everything accomplished that I wanted to in 2010.  Sometimes that just happens. It is what it is.

What happened during 2010? We moved. A difficult move, yes, but now we walk Harrison to and from school EVERY day – rain or shine. A blessing. And Harrison started Kindergarten, he is beginning to read and is absolutely loving the entire school journey. A blessing. Big Brother started his SECOND year of college. Blessing. He finished his first year on the Dean’s List. Blessing. Business was much better for the G.I.D.(guy I dig). Blessing. I safely traveled by plane four times last year and although one time was to say goodbye to someone I love, it was still a Blessing. Because of social media, I was reacquainted with some dear friends I had lost contact with years ago. Blessings.  I got to take Harrison back to South Dakota for vacation (and a wedding). Blessing. We had a visit from old family friends from New Zealand. Blessing. The GID’s parents came out to visit us in October. Blessing. In turn, we were able to spend Christmas with them in St. Louis, MO. Double Blessing! Harrison got to experience snow on Christmas day, build a snowman, go sledding, have a snowball fight and make an snow fort! Blessings! I had incredible photography clients this year. Blessing. We have our health. Blessing.  A home over our heads and unfailing hope on our Lord. Blessing. Needless to say, we had countless opportunities to spend time with our friends and family throughout the year which is always a Blessing.

Each day we wake up to a new day - and I am truly Thankful. For Every. Single. Day.

I hope this finds you well and [long after the craziness and stress of the season have passed] your holidays were filled with peace and joy.

Only time will tell what 2011 will bring. But I do hope one thing - that it will be filled with as many, if not more, blessings than 2010 held… even in the unknown murkiness of life.