Murky Waters Ahead... (a.k.a. goodbye 2009)

Today was the last day of my picture a day project - 365/2009.  I would love to tell you of all the incredible things I learned about photography using my camera {almost} daily or about new insight on my world looking through the viewfinder.

But that's not really the case. Not that it NEVER happened, I have learned a lot and have had insight. And I have an awesome documentation of my year. Awesome.

A whole year.

I went outside this evening knowing I had ONE LAST SHOT for 2009. I've been so sick in the last few weeks that I am wiped clean of any creative juices. So standing there in my little back yard {that was anything but new to me to photograph} I noticed the dirty orange water in the fountain from the rains yesterday.

Then it occurred to me, that water represents how I feel about 2010. Murky.

While so many others are counting down the hours to say goodbye to 2009 because of so many difficult days or experiences. I feel some of our hardships are just over the horizon. We were granted a reprieve from moving last summer; but now it's looking us in the face. I hate moving. Especially when it's not a desired move... and that's just the beginning. 

I'm looking at murky water ahead.

I remembered a little stone I have and went into the house to retrieve it.
I dropped at the side of the fountain and watched it quickly slide and sink to the bottom amongst the debris.

I took some pictures of that stone in the dirty water of the fountain and then pulled it out (using a bubble wand of course!) to wash it and put it away.

It made me think; it went into the dirty, murky water strong, clean and smooth and it came out still looking clean and feeling smooth. The unclean water didn't alter it.

It reminded me of God's love - even through difficulties, struggles and storms. His love is like that stone, strong and constant, coming through all of it with us - unchanged, unaltered.

All I have to do is trust in Him.

Good bye 2009 it has been an interesting ride.

{and although the water may be murky} Hello 2010!
Be what you will, my hope is in the Lord.

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

Hope today was filled with good blessings, wonderful fun, much laughter & joy, sweet peace and all you heart desires.

I've been way off my game and quite neglectful here, I know.  I've recovering from a sinus infection and pink eye - what a illness season!

But I'm looking forward to 2010 being a great year. If not challenging...

I *heart* Anthropologie

And what do I love more than the clearance section of Anthropologie?

A gift card to Anthropologie!

 I picked up a sweet little tea cup and an embroidered hand towel for my kitchen. Love them!

Speaking of picking up, Christmas shopping days are running out, if you need/want a wonderful hand-made heirloom toy for a younger child check this out!
A fun toy at a great price! Harrison saw one at Anthropologie and LOVED it. I was ecstatic to find it at The Copper Mailbox and support a small business. They only have 10 left!

BTW, almost finished with Project 365 - the image above is #348. Wow, that was a fast year!

Storming Through the Holiday Season at the Speed of Light...

I've been spending my weekends taking pictures of other people for their holiday cards and the weekdays taking care of business - newsletters, emails, fliers, posters... When I'm not doing one or the other I'm spending the rest of the time with the little boy above, who seems to NEED me a lot more recently.

If I'm not smiling from his vibrant personality (and sometimes crying...), I'm smiling at the wonderful pictures I've been editing and sending off to people.

Unfortunately, with everything going on, I wasn't able to drive south the attend the Smugmug Christmas party this evening. [insert poo-poo face here] It would have been a blast to meet some Smugmug friends in person. Oh well - maybe next year.

On the other hand, look what arrived on my doorstep yesterday. My very own Shootsac! My husband bought it for my for our 10th anniversary. I can't wait to use it [now that all my photo gigs are done for the season]! I've tried dragging around my camera bag so that I can have both lens close at hand; but it was SO awkward. NOT ANY MORE!  Thank you Love!

Anyone need pictures? Have Shootsac - will take pictures!

Well back to editing, cleaning and going to start it all over again tomorrow.

Double Digits!

Only yesterday...

That what it seems like. But alas it has been 10 years.
We've been married 10 years.


Last year I mentioned that I would have probably added some additional "detail" pictures had I known and pictures of getting ready. I didn't have anyone doing that. And even back then I would have loved close up shots of the flower bouquets and the bridesmaids gloves that I designed (and were sewn by a friend - thank you for taking over that project!). Regardless, it was a perfect day that we joyfully reflected on throughout and long past our first year of marriage. 

Lately as I've been cleaning and downsizing things I don't use or need, I have stumbled across little items from that day tucked away here and there. One being my wedding dress shoved in Harrison's closet. I thought it would be fun to do a Trash the Dress session with the Guy-I-Dig for our 10th anniversary presciently since it was never cleaned and boxed. Then I tried it on - but 10 years, genes, and giving birth has left me unable to zip up the back.

So I took a picture instead!

Another item I discoved was the box with my wedding shoes. Seriously, they are not as pretty or sexy as the shoes I've seen photographed lately; and the years of living in a box inside the closet of hundred year old houses has taken it's toll on the not-so fancy-shoes. Yet, the scuffs and dirt on them represent a wonderful day filled with joy and celebration with our closest family and friends. I bought them with comfort and dancing in mind, Plus, I changed into my white 60's go-go boots (which have also not fared well in the hundred-year-old house...) under the wedding dress for part of the reception anyway .

So now I have a few detail pictures and I can let go of those items that I have no use for because these pictures evoke such great memories of that day.

Even 10 years later.

Here's looking forward to the next 10 years! Oh how I love that Guy-I-Dig! 

PhotoStory Friday
Hosted by Cecily

Pure Bliss

The day was a hard one... for the four-year-old. Sometimes I think it's just hard being four. After preschool we went to the Wilderness park (which is a beautiful park, but really, there's not much wilderness left; with the exception of ducks and turtles) He was told not to throw rocks into the pond and listened, but in the car two hours later. He melted into tears - the second time this day.

With bruised emotions, bruised hands and dirt on his face, we marched into Starbucks and ordered a hazelnut cream for him and an eggnog latte for me. He choose a big brown leather chair to share with me as we relaxed and sipped our drinks. He drew comfort in the warm, flavored milk and I drew comfort in the quiet moment between us - mother and son.


And just like that, November is over.

November at a glance

Oh it's on, baby! Let the Holidays Begin!!

December Already??

I sat at my desk at my day job on November 2 getting very annoyed with the event calender system. I was trying to update some event items for the organization and the calendar kept defaulting to November. Over and over again I couldn't understand why it no longer opened up in October - after all, it's October isn't it?

It wasn't.

It was November.

And tomorrow November is over. I'm still scratching my head and wondering where October went, let alone November.

Seriously my days seem to fly by at the speed of light and I'm left spinning in the aftermath. Not unlike an encounter with Wiley Coyote's old nemesis, the Roadrunner.

A peek [one month late] at October:

And tomorrow we can take a look at November.

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I was thinking about what I'm thankful for in addition to my family and health this holiday season. Being able to share my gift with others, giving the gift of images that they will always treasure - I love that and I'm thankful for the gifting.

I'm taking baby-steps in moving forward with my photography. You'll see it's reflected in the look of the blog.  Right now I have a temporary photography website; and since there is no extra funds I have to be creative so I've linked everything together as I start the process of branding.

Heck, I even set up an option to subscribe to the my blog and signed up for Twitter! (but don't go looking for me on Twitter -you may only find crickets) I have high hopes though (once we get through the crazy holidays and a possible move)!

Ready to watch this crazy new adventure play out?
Me too.

...and if I fail? Well - "A Life Lived in Fear is a Life Half Lived".

The Least of These...

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." - Matthew 25:34-36

 As I move into the holiday season with Thanksgiving around the corner and Christmas fast on it's heals, I'm beginning to feel the crunch of consumerism and a pressing reminder to imprint something more in my child's heart at a young age. That in all of our thankfulness during this season, in all the excess we really do have, it's still important to reach out to others in need. to give to others - unconditionally, expecting nothing in return.


Not long after my mother passed away in the mid-nineties a friend took me with him to a mission/pantry that fed the poor and homeless of Hollywood weekly . It was an experience that changed me, an experience that healed my broken heart, a chapter of my life that I carry with me to this day.

I was working a job I didn't like, feeling broken and aimless and holding onto my hope with quickly fraying shoestrings. I could have easily gone home and plopped in front of the TV for "Must See TV" Thursday. After all "Must See TV" was still in it's honeymoon phase - top rated shows dominated the evening; but that never filled the hole in my heart. So I went with him, and then I went back - again and again.

And then I just kept going back on my own. I would get in my little car after work, totally spent, and head down one of the busiest freeways in SoCal during one of the busiest hours of the day just to serve dinner to strangers. But after time they were no longer strangers, they were friends and it wasn't just them receiving something, it was me.

Like a gas tank, I headed down that freeway most Thursday evenings completely empty, nothing to give; but I went anyway. At the end of the evening I would get in my car to make the drive home completely filled!
Filled with Exuberant Joy, Energy, Excitement and even Hope.

The more I gave of my [empty] self, the more I was filled.

And all I did was talk to [quite often] homeless people, serve them food, clean floors- tables - dishes, worship God and pray with them.

I returned home each evening, week after week - month after month, feeling totally alive and exhilarated and before I knew it, my heart was whole and my hope was restored. Finally, after a long lug through an emotionally desert, I began to smile again. My face hurt from all the smiling! Not only smile but laugh; laugh literally until I cried.

My life was changed.

In all that loss, loneliness, brokenness and emptiness I felt, I discovered that I was rich. Rich in the fullness of Christ. I had a faith that, though shaken, had become more firmly grounded and anchored in my God. I had a church that walked and prayed me through my pain; then I would go to the mission and I laughed and cried and prayed with these people - and hugged and hugged and hugged until I healed.

The Mission closed for a very short term a couple years later, about the time I met my and began dating future husband, eventually getting married; but it was just enough time to lose contact with them. 

And yet - those moments have never left my heart and mind, those faces never leave my prayers. I want my son to be comfortable giving of himself, to reach out to those in need, to feel untroubled talking with a homeless person who may be smelly and dirty, to know and understand that this is still a person with a life, a heart... feelings, to give them a moment of hope even if only in the form of a prayer for them or a smile. Because sometimes... sometimes... a person just needs to be touched by kindness. And sometimes a prayer can move mountains. 

And the people on the streets of our cities and living in shelters have come against a lot of mountains.

(Each time I watch and listen to this, it moves me to tears. It's by Harrison's God father -
for of his music check out

Not all of them started out with drug problems or mental problems (albeit that is the case for many), unfortunately the streets are cruel and that becomes the reality; but there  are many people out there with stories. Stories that include success, eduction and Bad Luck. I have heard many of the stories from people just like me.

Just. Like. Me.

For me personally, this year I was emailed something that spoke close to my heart's calling...

Since picking up my camera, I knew that I always wanted to give to those who couldn't afford portraits. It's something that I wanted to work into a business when I start to fully. After all, I believe our creativity is a gift from God to be used for His good purpose and glory.  How perfect this project is for me.

If you are a photographer or just love to take pictures, check out help-portrait to find out more information. If it's not your cup of tea, check into soup kitchens in your area, or another way to help someone in need this season.

It just may change your life.

Is It Christmas Today?

Sunday morning Harrison awoke and called out to us, "Is it Christmas Today?"  

No, I answered.

"You said Christmas was after Halloween."

He's right, I did say Christmas came after Halloween. Obviously I wasn't clear on how soon after...

A couple quick (and blurry) poses as we rushed out of the house & shortly before the battery died (the spare at home, oops). 

He wanted to be a Knight Jedi.
No, not a Jedi Knight.
Trust me, there is a difference.

We went up the street to the local "Trunk or Treat" in a church parking lot - car trucks opened to trick-or-treat and a Jumper (i.e. Bouncer, Jump House, Inflatable).  Harrison trick-or-treated at three cars and headed straight for the jumper (that he remembered from his two hour jump fest last year).
"I have enough candy!" he declared as he darted.

Since Daddy came along this year, we talked him into coming out long enough for some traditional trick-or-treating up and down one block.
He boldly went up to each door, knocked loudly and yelled, "Trick or Treat!" in that adorable little-boy voice of his.  A couple houses [with lights on] didn't answer and finally at the last house he gave his last ditch effort and yelled "Trick Or TREE-EEET!" and then proceeded to have a short in-depth conversation about one of his toys with the woman who answered the door. 

Back down the street, we returned to the Trunk or Treat and closed it down - in the Jumper. Yup, two MORE hours of standing around meeting other nice parents waiting for their kids to work off sugar-highs in the Jumper. Guess what... the Jumper doesn't work.


All I have to say is next year He is carving the pumpkins!

More of Best Shot Monday here.

Feeding a Cold

It has been a tough week, my head is still killing me. I HATE colds. And the cold & flu season is just beginning.

But I feel better every time I bite into one of these warm and yummy triple-berry bran muffins. I can't get enough of them. And when they cool, I reheat them because they truly taste better warm with a bit of butter on them. Top it off with a nice cup of coffee this morning and I'm in heaven.

Until that blasted sinus headache comes back.

Can't win them all. 

Here's a peek at my 365 Project - I was sick but I still got a few shots in.

Have a nice weekend! Happy Halloween.

What's Missing From This Picture?

How about a four-year-old boy who tearfully insisted on carving pumpkins to no avail on Tuesday night only to abandon the pumpkin-carving fiesta five minutes in on Wednesday...

The Guy I Dig really stepped up to the plate with me. He is a Master Pumpkin cleaner.  At least Harrison picked out two of the templates we used. (The third pumpkin was done by me freehand, that's why it's not as fancy.)

I love curly stems.

waiting it's turn.

I started this one and the GID graciously finished it.

The trio ready for the business of Halloween.

As I finished the final pumpkin, the missing ingredient from this ritual sauntered back over to the table and announced, "I want to carve now!"

Then I turned into a pumpkin.

Visit Mental Inventory for Theme Thursday and Photo Story Friday hosted by Cecily and Carissa

PhotoStory Friday

I Smile

I'm on crunch week, those final days when I finish the details of the monthly newsletter. This month I needed an ad for an annual Winter Camp program; I couldn't use last year's ad as it no longer fit in thespace of the recently reformatted newsletter.

I had an idea...

I searched the internet, but couldn't find images of what I needed.


I did the next best thing - I dressed Harrison up in every piece of winter clothing I could find (which isn't much considering we live in Southern California). Then I asked him to give me that face he does. The one that makes me smile.

Yup, that's the face that makes me smile.

Even on a bad day.

Maybe he needs to start earning his college fund...

When You Don't Want Banana Bread

We buy bananas with good intentions - to make smoothies, specifically green smoothies. It's one way I can guarantee the dark greens in our diet; and Harrison is well aware of spinach or kale in his smoothie, as he is often helping me make it.

But I often don't get to the bananas in time before they turn. When that happens, we plan for loaf of banana blueberry bread.

Although that's gets old too.

Then last year I found this yummy recipe for "healthy cookies" that uses bananas. No sugar, no flower, no butter - all goodness.

And all gone in a flash.

It's a perfect mix of our favorite flavors - banana, coconut, almond, dark chololate (I use Ghirardelli Chocolate chips).

These are so good, they are worth posting again. I've included the basic recipe below or go grab the recipe with additional details and tips from 101; send some time over there. You won't be disappointed.
3 large, ripe bananas, well mashed (about 1 1/2 cups)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup coconut oil, barely warm - so it isn't solid (or alternately, olive oil)
2 cups rolled oats
2/3 cup almond meal
1/3 cup coconut, finely shredded & unsweetened
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon fine grain sea salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
6 - 7 ounces chocolate chips or dark chocolate bar chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees, racks in the top third.
In a large bowl combine the bananas, vanilla extract, and coconut oil. Set aside. In another bowl whisk together the oats, almond meal, shredded coconut, cinnamon, salt, and baking powder. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and stir until combined. Fold in the chocolate chunks/chips.The dough is a bit looser than a standard cookie dough, don't worry about it. Drop dollops of the dough, each about 2 teaspoons in size, an inch apart, onto a parchment (or Silpat) lined baking sheet. Bake for 12 - 14 minutes. I baked these as long as possible without burning the bottoms and they were perfect - just shy of 15 minutes seems to be about right in my oven.

I also bake mine for about 15-16 minutes.

Happy Wednesday

I Try

I finally cut out flags to make a bunting flag banner for Harrison.  Now if only I had a sewing machine.

Oh wait...

I have three.

'Cause I'm "craf-tee"

Can you believe I almost through a pile of old road maps away (it actually would have been the second round, the first being a couple years ago - or more).

As they sat in my hand, the light went off in my head; what am I doing!! I'm holding the perfect [free] wall paper for Harrison's room.

After all, we have vintage blue-floral wall paper in there and even though I could have taken it down and painted, but since we don't own this 100+ house, I didn't want to open a can of worms under that very old wall paper.

Now that Harrison is a little older I wanted to change up his room a bit, albeit he seems quite fond of the little pink flowers on the light blue background; he's going to make a good husband some day...

Once he saw the wall, he was THRILLED, and so was I. Now we just need to update the picture rope.

The best part is, they are put up with thumb tacks (using the rubber mallet to get them in there tight) and can easily be removed without damage to the wall or maps.

Here's a [older] before picture.

nice wallpaper, eh? Actually it worked into the vintage nautical theme of his room pretty well, most people didn't even notice until I said something.

I really love the maps though.
Renew, reuse, recycle - I used what I had!

Sunday Self # 10

Have a blessed week.

SOOC Saturday - Orb Season

 [WARNING - this post may be disturbing to some viewers.]

As much as Autumn is my favorite season, it's also a time that I despise in terms of arachnid.

Orb Spiders to be exact. Blech!

I never experienced them until moving near the beach almost 10 years ago. But, ugh, ever since... from late August through early October we have to be on guard not to walk into any spiral webs.

It is not always successful, as was the case last fall when I traumatized my child.

We were leaving for soccer when Harrison went running out the front door, down the steps and right into a web [that I saw at the last minute] - spider and all - before I could grab and stop him.
Immediately after I didn't see the spider, I thought we had dodged a bullet as I looked around the ground.

Harrison turned around, still seemingly unaware of the whole web thing to see why I was making such a fuss, when there it was... planted comfortably right in the middle of Harrison's chest.

What happened in the next few seconds was miserably out of my control; as my eyes locked onto Harrison's shirt, a half scream impulsively popped out of my mouth before my hand could fly up fast enough to suppress it. I felt like I was frozen in time there - staring a the FREAKIN' HUGE SPIDER on my child's chest.

"What?" he asked nonchalantly, catching my eye, following my gaze [before I could divert it] down to his shirt. And then...

BLOOD-CURDLING, HAND-WAVING, TOTALLY HEART-WRENCHING SCREAMING! and if that's not bad hand left my mouth to let out the rest of that scream...and another one.

{lucky for me} Daddy FLEW out to save the day and remove said spider.

Yeah, NOT one of my better Mommy moments.

Then my three-year-old continued to stroke my bruised ego for the next few days by retelling the story to all who would listen.
All. Who would listen.

yes, I got {that} close...

Fortunately, based on his ceaseless retelling of the story {how mommy screamed, then he screamed, then mommy screamed} and the fact that he is still enthralled with these spiders {at a safe distance} and their webs a year later, I can safely say he isn't too traumatized from the experience. 
I think I still am though...

Seriously, if this guy wants to hang out in our front yard for a few weeks - so be it.
Just remember the rules, Mr. arachnid.

1. no webs across any entry way to the human's home
2. no webs blocking human pedestrian sidewalks, in front of, or leading up to door
3. no use of human cars and/or driveway structures to build, secure or display webs

You live by these rules and we'll get along just fine.

Head over to Melody at Slurping Life for more [not-so-creepy-crawly] SOOC Saturday.

almost home

As I come up to the top of a hill,I am reminded that I live in a big city - with lots of cement, and wires, and buildings and traffic.

Then as I descend down the other side, I draw closer and closer to the big, blue-green expanse blanketing the horizon as far as I can see until it reaches up and brushes the evening sky in a cool, silken kiss.

Once again,

I'm almost home. 

see more sky at Sky Watch Friday
have a happy weekend. 

The Best Thing I Ever Did...


It's International Babywearing Week, September 21-28 and I'm a "babywearer" [well, PreKwearer now days...]

Harrison was fussy those first few weeks of life and wanted to held - all. the. time. the first few months; baby carriers resolved the issue and met both our needs. I could hold him and give him the closeness he wanted plus get things done. He is now a VERY confident, happy, outgoing four-year-old. I still use my Mei Tai occasionally because it works for both of us - he snuggles into my shoulders and relaxes and I can get someplace quickly and easily without a bulky stroller; like at over crowded concert at the park series in the summer.

From this (I know - not a great picture)

To this...
Our wearing days are almost done.



Taking on the 365 project is quite an endeavor for me.  So much that gets in the way - including me. But I'm happy to report that after today there exactly 100 days of this challenge left.

Will I do it again? I'll let you know in 100 days.

More Wordless Wednesday here and here.

A Quiet Day of Play

I love my bedroom, not because is decorated perfectly, or painted the perfect, calming color. On the contrary, I'm sure a lot could be done with it; but I love it all the same. It's on the second floor with a south facing window and a west facing window so on a Summer day the breeze blows perfectly through this room.

It is, by far, the best room in the house - the coolest, most airy room we have.

So when the laundry is all tucked away and the bed is made; we LOVE to plant our selves down on the bed, shutters wide open and play, cuddle, laugh, talk, tickle, rest, read, or just dream.

At night we love to keep the west facing window open, allowing the ocean breeze to dance at our window seal. Listening to the seagulls and the rhythmic sound of the fog horn takes me back to my honeymoon in Jamaica  when we slept to the sound and smell of the ocean and delighted in the cool breeze that tucked us in each night.

That's where you could find Harrison and I yesterday, we were tired, it was a long week; so we hung out on my bed and played - in the cool breeze and soft light of my favorite room of our house.

 The first shot is my Best Shot this week. I just love how relaxed {and engrossed} he is, playing with his Bionicles handed down from his beloved Big Brother.

Head to Mother May I for more Best Shot Monday.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year..

It's true the Fall Television lineup is about to start. I know - it's a weakness but we are giddy about our Thursday evening cuddle time in front of Survivor and CSI [although I'm still sad that William Petersen left the show].

And this year, being the home-body that I am, I'm totally happy about two shows coming together on Friday night - Ghost Whisperer and Medium; which NBC {foolishly} canceled in the eleventh hour last season almost without warning.

(don't even get me started on how the networks juggle their season lineups constantly.)

I look at it as win-win for CBS - and me.
Last season I was always jumping from a show on CBS to NBC for Medium anyway.

I can't tell you why I like these two shows, after all, Jennifer Love Hewitt NEVER looks bad. Never. She wakes up in the morning on the show with full mascara on and every hair on her head in place like she just returned from a salon appointment. But tune I do, week after week; it's my "unwind" show after a long busy week. I usher in a {hopefully} restful weekend with Ghost Whisperer. And sometimes it has even made me teary-eyed. Shhh - don't tell anyone.

As for Medium - I just REALLY like the entire ensemble cast - well the daughters annoy me sometimes, but hey, they can be annoying in real life. Which leads me to one of the reasons the show also works for me. They look like a normal middle income family that might be living down the street from you - all the way down to the set decorations in the home. And I don't have to tell you that Patricia Arquette is like night and day to Jennifer Love Hewitt; she has looked pretty bed-headed in some of the wake-from-a-nightmare scenes. Keeping it real folks - well, to a point. It is Medium after all.

I'm excited about my Friday wind down lineup! I guess you could say it's my one vice (or one of...).

So those that think of calling me about something tonight - or any given week - just know you'll be leaving a message on Thursday and Friday during the first two hours of Prime Time. But I still love ya.

In 45 minutes, I'm plopping on the sofa to watch last season's finales of both shows, because it just so happened I missed the finale of each show last season.

In Harrison's words, "I'm SO 'CITED!"

[Excuse me now, I need to go put my child to bed - on time!]

Photo Story - The Escape

I spied him just as he made his leap out the window.

Showing me his quick running skills. "Catch me if you can!"

"Aw SWEET FREEDOM!" he sings with a little happy dance.

Then I saw it - the hand up, the attitude - "Nya nya nya-nya nya!" he cried.

Oh yeah??

Who's crying now, eh?

Okay, I eventually took him back out of the trash can.

After all, he gave my that puppy-dog look...

You didn't see that one coming, eh?

Neither did I.

PhotoStory Friday
Hosted by Cecily and Izzy 'N Emmy

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