Sometimes I need to put everything aside and be creative.
Sometimes “being creative” is just spending time on an image in the “digital darkroom”.
Converting to black & white and color tones or adding texture and grain, like my film days.
I forget just how passionate I am about black and white images.
…and how powerful they can be.
Want some REAL B&W inspiration? check out this link, eight famous black and white photographers.
I remember that little, two-year-old voice calling out those sweet words like it was yesterday.
I’ve known her mom since our college days and when our circle of friends transplanted to Southern California one by one we became better friends. That group friends are an extended family to me, we were there at each other’s life moments, new love, broken hearts, careers, weddings, births, loss... And I was there shortly after she was born. Nervously holding her tiny body in my arms.
Two years later, she stood in the middle of a group of adults who were busy talking and planning an event, she wanted someone to stop and play with her. The adults towered over her like a forest of Redwoods, their words rustling like a wind above her head. Then in the brief lull, she stretched out her small hands like an angel in an Italian Renaissance painting and asked, “Will Anybody take these WEE little hands and play with me?”
Right then and there she commanded the room. Everyone was silent, everyone focused on her.
Since that day, she has grown into an incredible young woman – ready to take on the world. She has lived as a Missionary, she loves God, she loves her family, she is beautiful and I was delighted when her mom contacted me to take her Senior portraits.
It was like coming home.
And as most things in life, a senior shoot is best shared with a good friend.
Thanks Ladies for trusting me with your senior pictures and for coming out to play! It was a blessing!
Monday I dropped everything. Everything I needed to do and everything I thought I needed to do.
It was Labor Day and we were at home with no concrete plans to go out. I had pondered a trip to the Zoo or to the Natural History Museum, but honestly I didn’t want to venture inland to the heat of the city. And anyway, I had a list a mile long to accomplish – a house to clean, laundry to do, business to take care of and I won’t even go into how Harrison had schlepped almost the entire contents of his room to the living room to build a Lego universe. {Yes. A Universe.}
Then I got a text, “We’re meeting at the park, want to join us?”
Why, YES!
Yes, I do!!
I dropped everything because more than anything, we needed social time - outside. As I left the house I thought to grab my camera and chose to leave it behind. After all, I let the Project 365 die once again. (plants and daily 365 projects – they don’t flourish well in my hands…)
Now I wish I had that camera, just to snap a few pictures of our day, our kids… Us.
It wasn’t anything special, it was just four hours in a park with moms and kids. Our kids played together, rode bikes & scooters, ran around senseless, hung out and we sat under the shade of a big tree on big picnic blankets in the late summer breeze talking, laughing, relaxing.
We were privileged to have lunch together compliments of one of the husbands. Pizza, chicken tenders, cheezy bread and ice-cold water. Perfect meal to share in the park.
There was nothing special – just the satisfaction of having girlfriends – even the busy moms that we are.
The joy of sitting in the shade of that tree, feeling the breeze, enjoying the blue sky peppered with fluffy-white clouds in the distance.
The gratification of listening to our happy kids playing nearby and hysterically looking around at our kid’s shoes, scooters, helmets, bikes, snacks strewn all about us in the grass.
And knowing that at least for those four hours it was a Perfect day.
(And because every post needs a picture, one random picture from another perfect day this summer when my older brother came out for a visit.)
I started this post months ago, before I went Blog MIA. The last time I actually blogged was back in April and it was a Sunday Self, how appropriate that the first post since then is another Sunday Self. And I think I can honestly say that this image is as poignant now as the day I looked at it’s imperfection on the back of my camera.
Even though technically the focal point shifted (most likely I moved) and the picture above is just an incorrectly focused image, I saw more to it. I realized how my own view of myself has gotten blurred. How I don’t see myself the way that God sees me, “the unfading beauty” of my inner self. How I let my self-criticism distort my vision, how I couldn’t see myself clearly.
I had a lot more to say about it all those months ago. When it was fresh in my mind.
What I did (and continue to) do really, is to reset my thinking, to love and embrace who I am right now. Inside and OUT. I’ve struggled with pictures of myself for the last two years – I am as critical as the next woman – all I can see is that droopy eyelid that changes my face, those puffy circles under my eyes, that spot of white hair in my eyebrow… and the twenty pounds I need to lose. (All I can see.)
The thing is, we need to see that inward beauty in a physical manifestation from time to time. Sometimes we need to FEEL and BE pampered. There is nothing more relaxing (to most women) then going to the spa, having manicures or pedicures (the later I’ve never experienced) or getting our hair and/or makeup done. When we look in the mirror and feel good about what we see, we walk a little smarter, there’s a kick in our step and our inner beauty spills out all that much more. And when we feel good, those around us feel good.
I’ve slowly been working on a project with a friend and one day we made some images of ourselves. I stared and stared at the images of me. Not sure what I felt, if I liked them or not. There is nothing wrong with it in fact, it’s one of the best pictures I’ve ever had taken of me. That’s when I realized that how I view myself was skewed. I’ve talked to so many other women who see themselves in the same way – all their outwardly, physical shortcomings. Photographing children and families it comes up over and over again with the moms. We are so hard on ourselves as women – especially here in Southern California. The pressure to stay looking young and perfectly fit is oppressive.
I don’t want to wait until the perfect weight or whiter teeth or what ever the excuse may be to have pictures of me with my husband or son. Life is too short. But I do want women to see themselves how I see them in my lens - beautiful. More than once I have been taken aback by someone who’s picture I captured. The beauty that shines through their eyes. Only recently a 60+ woman took off her glasses for her portrait with me; I’d never seen her without her glasses in the seven years I’ve known her and I was blown away. She is beautiful! I couldn’t even hide my response when those glasses went down out of camera range and when she saw in me that positive reaction, she glowed even more.
Those are the portraits I want to make. The moments I want to capture. The reason I love being a photographer in the first place.
Because the life that God gave to each of us is Beautiful.
Happy Labor Day!
Ahck. Haven’t done Sunday Self for a while. Exactly the reason to bring it back.
Sometimes I forget that God brought me into His beautiful light.
I LOVE Anthropologie.
Love it.
Although I can’t go in and buy every single thing I see in the store,
just walking through and browsing is {happy-dance} relaxing to my senses.
The smell.
The texture.
The décor.
It does it for me (and I know I’m not alone).
Which brings me to my circa 1970’s condo which has no interesting history and leaves me feeling uninspired - but I have a great fireplace that works – I love that! However, fireplace mantles have always been a bit of a challenge for me and then I was motivated by a post from a Facebook friend and a couple blogs I happened upon all within a 12 hour period of time.
One day later I had my own Anthropologie inspired wall.
I used clip earrings from the collection I inherited from my mom. They get to sparkle with a new, repurposed life!
I used old sheet music for the carnation shaped flowers because I just couldn’t bring myself to tear out pages from ANY of my vintage books I have laying around.
As proud as I was of my new decorations, I didn’t say a word to the Guy-I-Dig. I wanted to see his reaction… Ironically, even though the fire place is the first thing you see when you walk into our living area, he didn’t notice for two full days.
He even set down and picked up his glasses from the mantle.
Three days later, as I sat at the table working with Harrison on something, I glanced up to see him looking intently at the wall above the fire place, “How long has this been here?”
“All weekend.”
He laughed, “DOH!”
I love my husband.
…and he gave the wall décor his two thumbs up.
