Break Down and Moving Forward

Hard to believe it’s 2012. 2011 flew by and I realized that I posted (cough-cough) a mere 20 times last year.

Twenty times. Wow. 

Honestly, when I took my business to a new level and blogging became about building business, I lost a creative drive to blog. I froze up didn’t want to suddenly sound superficial in my posts. Each and every client last year still brings me joy every time I look at their images, for so many different reasons; and somehow I felt I couldn’t properly and authentically express this.

I see so much in their faces – Beauty blossoms before my eyes, out of the brief moments with them when I’ve captured them living… getting married, becoming a Bar Mitzvah, renewing vows, tightly hugging each other, laughing together, embracing new life, rejoicing in generations being together.  Thank you for trusting me to capture those memories with you all, I am more honored than you can possibly imagine.
And I Still plan to share some here as I begin to pick up my virtual pen once again - if only for my own fulfillment.

On a personal level, our little family experienced a lot of bumps along the way last year. Bumps that we pushed through – if only by the Grace of God. And I can now see in retrospect that over the last two years I  slowly lost my “voice”.  Stress and fear tried often to rule my thoughts and actions; and I confess, sometimes I let them win.

Somewhere I broke-down. Not physically, not consciously and I didn’t realize this fact until this last Sunday while sitting in church. My pastor shared a video about a Olympic athletic hopeful, Derek Redmond, who tore his hamstring during a semi-final but got up, insisting on finishing the race – ultimately with the help of his father.  I was left in tears at his, agony, disappointment, strength and courage.

So there I was, realizing my creative and spiritual break down, however that’s all it was.   A break... separation, fracture, crack, divide. 
No drama-worthy One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest or Girl Interrupted moments, I came to a stop.
 Just a season that, too, will pass.

Along that vein - for the first time in three years, 2012 came in like a quiet Lamb. No illnesses at all. No flus, colds, sinus infections or pneumonia to join us inringing in the New Year. We are looking to 2012 with renewed strength, health and hope (Romans 12:2). There will be new challenges that stretch us; but that’s okay – we’re moving forward anyway.

We can never see where the road leads, still…


We’ll always move forward. 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.
Hebrews 12:1-2

1 comment:

Tracey said...

I could relate to so much Rose. I am so glad your new year came in quietly. Praying for a year of refreshment and renewal and HOPE for you!

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