SOOC Saturday - Orb Season

 [WARNING - this post may be disturbing to some viewers.]

As much as Autumn is my favorite season, it's also a time that I despise in terms of arachnid.

Orb Spiders to be exact. Blech!

I never experienced them until moving near the beach almost 10 years ago. But, ugh, ever since... from late August through early October we have to be on guard not to walk into any spiral webs.

It is not always successful, as was the case last fall when I traumatized my child.

We were leaving for soccer when Harrison went running out the front door, down the steps and right into a web [that I saw at the last minute] - spider and all - before I could grab and stop him.
Immediately after I didn't see the spider, I thought we had dodged a bullet as I looked around the ground.

Harrison turned around, still seemingly unaware of the whole web thing to see why I was making such a fuss, when there it was... planted comfortably right in the middle of Harrison's chest.

What happened in the next few seconds was miserably out of my control; as my eyes locked onto Harrison's shirt, a half scream impulsively popped out of my mouth before my hand could fly up fast enough to suppress it. I felt like I was frozen in time there - staring a the FREAKIN' HUGE SPIDER on my child's chest.

"What?" he asked nonchalantly, catching my eye, following my gaze [before I could divert it] down to his shirt. And then...

BLOOD-CURDLING, HAND-WAVING, TOTALLY HEART-WRENCHING SCREAMING! and if that's not bad hand left my mouth to let out the rest of that scream...and another one.

{lucky for me} Daddy FLEW out to save the day and remove said spider.

Yeah, NOT one of my better Mommy moments.

Then my three-year-old continued to stroke my bruised ego for the next few days by retelling the story to all who would listen.
All. Who would listen.

yes, I got {that} close...

Fortunately, based on his ceaseless retelling of the story {how mommy screamed, then he screamed, then mommy screamed} and the fact that he is still enthralled with these spiders {at a safe distance} and their webs a year later, I can safely say he isn't too traumatized from the experience. 
I think I still am though...

Seriously, if this guy wants to hang out in our front yard for a few weeks - so be it.
Just remember the rules, Mr. arachnid.

1. no webs across any entry way to the human's home
2. no webs blocking human pedestrian sidewalks, in front of, or leading up to door
3. no use of human cars and/or driveway structures to build, secure or display webs

You live by these rules and we'll get along just fine.

Head over to Melody at Slurping Life for more [not-so-creepy-crawly] SOOC Saturday.


penandview said...

I had to basically fly through this post. I'm not sure I got all of your words, but I got the gist and I can't believe you got that close. Brave soul.
I was once at a garden party and my the wind was blowing and my hair was getting stuck in my lip gloss and hence in my mouth. I went to go pull the hair out of my mouth and yep, pulled out a HUGE black spider.
Shoulda seen the look of horror on my friend's faces, and then the horror on mine!

Frogmum said...

Funny story accompanied by stunning photography - too cool!! I don't get the fuss about spiders, but then in the UK they are all safe, so I guess that's maybe it - although there are enough people scared of them here too - for no apparent logical reason!

iMother2.0 said...

it's hard to make me LOL...but this story sure did! creepy spiders...LOVE your rules ;)

SoCo mom said...

Oh. my. goodness!!

I would have had a nasty shock too. I hope those spiders are remembering The Rules!

Momisodes said...

Ugh. We're having a huge group of spider visitors this year around our house, too.

I'm not a fan.

Terra said...

LOVE the pictures and story!

Unknown said...

Ha! There is a tenacious spider who builds a web everyday across our sidewalk by J's. car and EVERYDAY he walks into some part of it! You think he'd learn...I've never seen the spider (ewww!) but he does make some cool webs, if I ever get a chance to get to the web before J. leaves I'll have to try to take some pics! :-)

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