Theme Thursday - Making Memories

It's all about making memories for Harrison, giving him the best life experience I can during these short, formative years which means often pushing through my own painful shortcomings as a person and a mother. I know, I know, people always say "You're a great mom!" and we are always our own worst critic, it's true; but I know where I fall short. My saving grace, Christ in my life and a little boy who loves me REGARDLESS.

Since this little person has entered my life, it has only compounded in me an intense NEED to PRESERVE memories; of my family, of childhood, of moments and places important to me. That is REALLY one of the reasons I started this online quest. This living cyber-place keeps me accountable to reach that end.

One of those memories lay within a series of pictures that I took of my grandparents home. They had owned their property since the 1950's and lived there since the 60's. Where my relationship with God is a spiritual anchor in my life, my grandparents home was a physical anchor. I didn't realize how deep that was embedded in my soul until after my grandfather's death a year and a half ago. My Aunt liquidated the estate and sold the property. I still feel the pangs of that experience. The loss of that anchor.

It's true that, after I moved away and got older, trips home were more difficult and farther between - each passing year; but it never represented the map of my heart or dilute my love for my grandparents. You never realize how important and comforting it is to know in the back of your mind that parents "are there" until they aren't. So on a couple cold winter days in December 2005 and October 2006 I took the last of my pictures at "the farm". Harrison was with me, he was able to run across the yard that I spent so much time in growing up. I could fill a book with memories of that yard; some day I hope to write a few down for Harrison. The tender romanticized version of my child's eye that I cherish.

I couldn't look at those last pictures for over a year without welling up into tears. So they sat. The funny thing is, that stupid point-and-shoot stayed true to it's mission to make my picture-taking miserably disappointing. Out of the close to 100 photos I took, in too much of an emotional rush, I had mostly blurred or poor light quality photos. I CAN"T DELETE ONE of them - not one. I just can't.

I finally visited those photos without tears overtaking me and invited them to a day at the PhotoShop spa, they humbly obliged. Below is a small sampling of the results. they are more "artistic" that's fine for me, they represent that romanticized place - in my heart. I see the beauty of my childhood memories preserved in these photos. I also feel a sadness in the resounding quiet of the images.












Check out other memories in the making over at Stacy's Land of K.A.

PS Thank you for the suggestions and comment on my self portrait last week. The general consensus is to leave it as is, but I must play with it just to see the difference. I haven't had a chance to open PhotoShop this week, so I will let you know the results next week!